I’ve been through drug withdrawals before (meth and GHB), so I know what it feels like. It’s all documented here. My last use was on Sunday around 8 or 9 PM, and I decided to go cold turkey. It took a lot of willpower to stop that evening—it wasn’t easy, but I had a moment of clarity, almost like a higher power intervened, and I knew I had to quit. For me, being sober means no mind-altering substances at all—no alcohol, no drugs, no smoking. I don’t take antidepressants or sleeping pills either. I’m really going through it raw.
Today is day 6 of sobriety. Last time, I made it 41 days, and I’ve learned three key things since relapsing:
- I hadn’t truly accepted that I was powerless.
- I need to listen to my sponsor—I can’t do this alone.
- I commit to 90 meetings in 90 days, face-to-face whenever possible.
Today, I’m starting Step 1 of the AA 12-Step Journey. This week, I’ve already attended 8 meetings, mostly in person. Unlike my first attempt at white-knuckling recovery, where I occasionally joined online, this time I’ve met some incredible people in my local groups. I no longer feel as isolated, and I’ve built connections with people I can reach out to when I need support. I’ve gained tools to help me when the urge to relapse hits. In a way, as difficult as the relapse was, it’s made me even stronger.
