Did it start with the drugs or sex? Not sure. I’d say, the sex first and then the drugs. Together. A Lethal combination. During the sex days mainly, I got so friggin horny I couldn’t get enough of it. I was obsessed. More obsessed than a dog is with a bone. I wanted to be fucked 24/7 and I couldn’t resist any opportunity. When I ran out of guys to meet off Grindr, I’d proceed to use rent boys or escorts. There was one who I met and he was hung. After meeting he blackmailed me. Demanding money and threats. I complied the first time and sent money. The demands continued. It got to the point where I had to block him. Then to circumnavigate the block, he started to send me PayPal money requests to my email from his company work email address. Eventually it stopped. It caused me to experience significant anxiety and stress. I didn’t feel I could tell anybody because I felt like I was in the wrong. Eventually the threats stopped and I’ve never heard from again. Until I was reading the newspaper recently and came across a story of the same person doing this to somebody else. This time the police were involved and he was arrested and charged. I met many escorts during my time on drugs, however this guy was an absolute tosspot. Sex addiction is a real thing. I had a sex addiction for a few years and drugs made it even worse. I try and unpick why I had an addiction to sex. Was it that I was in a sexless relationship, becoming fit after being overweight, growing confidence or learning how to become a bottom at 30? These days my sex drive and addition is much less. My sexual functioning is taking a rest it would appear and I have reduced libido. I still have sex with my partner but it’s a healthier relationship with sex. The worst thing to do is compare sex in a relationship with sex during my addiction and chemsex days. I’m getting better with that though.
Did it start with the drugs or sex?
