This Week Tried to End Me (But I Lived to Tell the Blog)
Let me just start by saying: if cortisol were currency, I’d be a billionaire by now. This past week? A delightful cocktail of tight deadlines, urgent emails, and wearing so many hats I may as well open a millinery.
I’ve been floating out of the present moment like a budget-friendly ghost, haunted not by spirits but by what-ifs, oh-no-I-did-that, and that-meeting-could-have-been-an-email. My brain’s favourite pastimes this week include worrying about things that already happened (which I can’t change), and pre-stressing about things that may never happen (excellent use of time, truly).
And let me tell you — the stress hit different this time. I actually admitted to colleagues that I was stressed. OUT LOUD. With words. That’s a pretty big deal for me. I’ve been at this job for over a year, and up until now, my strategy has mostly been smiling tightly while slowly transforming into a human paperweight.
Work’s response? “Let’s throw more people at the problem!” Which is sweet, but it’s kind of like trying to fix a broken toaster by buying another toaster and duct-taping them together. The issue isn’t bodies, it’s communication, expectations, and a process that might’ve been invented by a sleep-deprived raccoon.
The Body Keeps the Score — and Shouts It
Meanwhile, my body, ever the helpful drama queen, is screaming louder than my inbox. Cue: jaw ache, neck tension, and muscles so tight they could be used as suspension bridges. I’ve been learning to actually listen to these physical signs instead of shoving them into the “Ignore Until It’s A Migraine” folder.
Apparently, this is called “growth.”
Ground Control to Major Me
When I start disassociating (or, as I like to call it, buffering like a 2004 YouTube video), I’ve learned a trick that helps: the “3s.” Three things I can hear. Three things I can smell. Three things I can touch. It sounds like a weird nature scavenger hunt at first, but honestly? It helps.
It brings me back to the now. And let me tell you — now is a lot nicer than the chaotic horror film reel in my brain called “What If? and Other Unhelpful Thoughts.”
Because here’s the truth: I can’t change what’s already happened. And I definitely can’t control the future (believe me, I’ve tried). But I can be here — jaw slightly unclenched, neck slightly looser, in this moment. Maybe even with a cup of tea. Possibly herbal.
Final Thought
If this week taught me anything, it’s this: Stress happens. Sometimes all at once. But I’m learning to notice it, feel it, and recover without trying to sprint through it or ignore it until I become one with my office chair.
So here’s to the small wins, the deep breaths, and the kind of self-awareness that makes you go, “Oh. That’s why I’m walking like a turtle in a neck brace.”
If you’re feeling it too — you’re not alone. But please, for the love of your spine: unclench your jaw.
