A psychiatrist in recovery once advised me to avoid emotional stress. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant—after all, emotional stress is everywhere: work, relationships, family, friends, hobbies, even just getting through the day. I had a few sessions with him and eventually asked for clarification. His answer was pretty much what I had suspected: anything that has the potential to overwhelm me, demand emotional energy, or require me to “show up” emotionally—those are the things I should try to avoid, at least for now.
He was talking about situations that could push me too far, require too much emotional investment, or take up too much headspace. And honestly, creating an environment in recovery where emotional stress doesn’t exist is incredibly difficult. I still struggle with it. When I get overwhelmed, I begin to shut down. I go numb, I dissociate, my body becomes tense, and I experience physical symptoms of stress. It’s like turning into a zombie—a horrible state to be in.
But here’s something I’ve learned: if you do find yourself in an emotional overload spiral—numb, anxious, shut down—don’t panic. Focus on the present moment. Breathe. Deep, intentional breathing. Ground yourself in your surroundings. These simple acts have the power to break the cycle before it takes over. They’ve saved me more than once.
Despite the challenges, I’ve made the choice to engage with life in ways that carry emotional weight. I’m trying to do my best, and thankfully, it seems to be working. But recovery isn’t linear. Just when it feels like things are under control, something unexpected can come along and shake everything up.
Right now, there’s a lot going well in my life. I’m seeing someone, work is going alright (even though it’s a stressful job), and there are personal issues I’m managing that still fuel my anxiety. Altogether, it feels like a bubbling pot of emotional overwhelm, constantly simmering.
So, if you’re new to recovery and unsure where to start, I’d encourage you to look at the emotional stress in your life. Ask yourself: what can you realistically avoid to free up energy for healing? You don’t have to eliminate all emotional stress, but you do need to protect yourself where you can. Early in my recovery, I had to make some very tough choices in order to protect my well-being.
Now, with seven months of clean time behind me, my capacity has grown—but it’s still nowhere near what it was before Chemsex took so much from me. And that’s okay. Recovery is about meeting yourself where you are, taking things one step at a time, and remembering that you do have tools to bring yourself back when things get overwhelming.
