These days, my life is built around the simple and meaningful things. I talk to my mum every day, make my own meals, go on walks, cycle, drink water, and stick to a routine. These small actions help me find peace, and I’m learning to smile more and enjoy life as it is.
Honesty and openness have become crucial in my relationships. I’ve been lucky to have the support of the people who matter most to me, and even new connections who check in on me when I least expect it. My relationship with my mother, in particular, has grown stronger—something I never imagined would come from my struggles with addiction.
There was a time when material things consumed me—fancy cars, designer clothes, luxury travel. Now, I’ve learned to appreciate the simple things, like having a pillow on my bed. Life doesn’t need to be extravagant to be fulfilling.
Recently, I’ve come to a tough realization: Manchester city centre is no longer a place I can live. It’s full of triggers that I can’t ignore. In my last post, I mentioned asking God for forgiveness. Though I don’t live a religious life, I was baptised into the Church of England. But I also expressed anger, wishing harm on someone I resent deeply. I regret saying that, but I’ve decided not to remove it from my blog. This space is meant to reflect my authentic feelings, and at the time, that’s how I felt.
This evening, I went to have some blood tests done. It’s been a while, so even if the results only offer reassurance, it will help me feel more at ease on my journey toward health. I tend to overthink things—I’ve always been that way, even as a child. But I’m making progress. Later this week, I’ll have my third therapy session. The first one left me feeling raw, but the most recent session was more manageable. It’s a process, and I’m learning to be patient with myself.
Now that I’m home, I’m looking forward to starting a new book. I have a few lined up, but this one feels particularly relevant: Lust, Men, and Meth by David Fawcett.
I love you Mum and Nana – you know who you are.
