I’ve reached a point where I’m beginning to accept and process the shame I once felt about the sex I had during my chemsex addiction. I’ve written many times before about how the use of chems led me into an unhealthy pattern of sex addiction. For me, sex and chems were completely intertwined—one didn’t happen without the other.
Now, I’m slowly moving toward experiencing sex as just sex, without the need for chems. Breaking that deeply ingrained habit hasn’t been easy, but step by step, it’s becoming more manageable. A lot of the sex I engaged in during that time was unhealthy and, looking back, left me feeling ashamed and degraded.
But through reflection and self-work, I’ve been able to understand and work through that shame. I’ve come to realise that the feelings I carried weren’t just about the sex itself, but about the emotional voids and circumstances surrounding it. I no longer carry shame about my past. I’ve learned that many of the people I met during those times were also grappling with their own shame and internal battles. That understanding has been a key part of my healing.
