A lot of my past was wrapped up in drugs and sex. That’s not my reality anymore. And honestly, it’s left me with a huge chunk of free time—time I now fill with things that are actually good for me: going to the gym, catching up with friends, being with family, traveling, and exploring new hobbies or interests.
Recovery forces you to find out what those interests even are. And it’s not a half-ass thing—you’ve got to take it seriously. That means creating some sort of routine. I still have spontaneous moments, and as my mood improves, so does my curiosity. But at first? It’s hard. It can feel boring, slow, and pointless. Our brains were used to constant, chemically-fueled highs, so figuring out who you are without that can feel empty and frustrating.
But this part takes patience—and time. Over time, your mind calms down, and things do get easier. You might not enjoy the things you used to, and that’s okay. Depending on how deep and long your addiction went, your rediscovery process could take a while. People change. And if you were in the grip of chemsex for years, you’ll probably have a lot of mental and emotional unpacking to do. Life was on pause. Now it’s back in motion.
Believe in yourself. I’m living proof that things get easier, slowly but surely.
