When I first started attending Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA) meetings, I was still trying to find my footing in recovery. During one of those early meetings, a regular made a comment to me—one that stung deeply. They told me, with complete certainty, that I wouldn’t make it.
I remember feeling taken aback. How could this person, who didn’t even know me, decide my fate? At the time, my recovery path wasn’t linear, but I was showing up. I even went to daily meetings for a while, trying to follow the structure that so many swore by. But I was also figuring things out in my own way, and somehow, that made me a target for doubt. It felt as though if I didn’t strictly adhere to the “90 meetings in 90 days” doctrine, I was seen as less committed—less of an addict, even.
Now, 140 days clean, that comment still lingers in my mind. But I’ve come to realize something important: Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are many roads that lead to Rome. What matters most isn’t how closely you follow someone else’s blueprint—it’s your unwavering desire to leave chemsex and drugs behind.
So, to the person who doubted me—and to anyone else who’s been made to feel that there’s only one way to recover—here’s what I’ve learned: It is possible to give up chemsex drugs without going to daily meetings forever. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. You’ll need a strong support system, and you must be ready to embrace significant change. But recovery starts with you. No one is going to hand it to you on a silver platter. You have to want it, fight for it, and build it for yourself.
